1/2 way there...

Well, I'm sitting in the chemo chair waiting for my 3rd treatment. So far (knock on wood and hope I don't jinx myself) I have been fairing much better than expected. Yeah!

Some of my biggest hurdles have been:

• Getting to the treatments - Atlanta traffic is horrible and I'm over it. And, next year, when I do our taxes and calculate our medical expenses for 2008, can I include these insane gas prices?


• Remembering my numbing cream - There is this wonderful cream that will numb the skin and nerves around my port site. (Port: (n) the little mechanical window into my blood stream that lives under the skin on my chest) I have to use the cream 30-45 minutes before they punch a 1 inch needle into me for hooking up the IV. I've had 7 treatments so far, I think I've remembered to use the cream 4 times.


• Feeling OK - I'm still 15 pounds overweight. Darn-it! I'm blaming the steroids and the general fatigue (less walks in the n'hood) for counter-acting any decrease in calories I have been able to amass.
  


• Remembering to take my steroid pills - I am supposed to take a steroid called Decodron twice daily, the day before a chemo treatment, the day of, and the day after. Of course, I did it properly the first time because I was so nervous about the whole thing. Second time, I remembered the afternoon before, ran to Publix to get the pills, took all 4 with a Pharmacist prescribed milkshake for carb loading. (Not a bad punishment to make up for a mistake.) Now, today, the 3rd treatment. The nurse asks if I remembered - and of course I had not thought about it until that exact moment - YIKES! So, now, they are dripping a big dose into my system before I can have the real drugs. I hate being brain dead, which leads into...
  


• Juggling normal life with Chemo-Brain: (adj.) the fuzzy, cloudy, unfocused feeling cancer patients struggle with, but others can't really help with. Examples I've read about: One mom poured orange juice on her son's cereal. And she also waited expectantly for a return phone call only to realize she forgot to make the original call. Another woman poured gravy into water glasses on the dining room table and yet another who ordered olives for dinner. I'd put in some of my own examples, if I could remember them. Need I say more?
  

So there you have it. My sister Karen has just shown up with my coffee and chicken biscuit. Gotta go.

Mohawk Momma!

Well, it's done. My hair is gone - mostly. I couldn't resist the chance to wear a mohawk for a few days. I did, however, resist the urge to stop at a mullett.

I just happened to run across this great event that was shaving peoples heads to raise money for childhood cancer research. And the timing couldn't have been better. So, yesterday afternoon, we met at Fado's Irish Pub in Buckhead. We had a few beers, some food, lots of giggles, and had our heads shaved. Kevin even got interviewed and taped for 99X.com. His shaving will be available on the web in a day or so.



A very nice couple was volunteering at the event. Their daughter, who probably isn't much older than Kinsey, has been in remission for 5 1/2 years. Her mom said that her cancer was so aggressive, that it would have been back by now, so they feel that she is cured. What a relief. I have a deep fear that my girls will someday deal with breast cancer - but at least they will be adults. I can't imagine how it would feel to be a parent of a small child and have to deal with cancer. My heart goes out to these families. I am glad that while participating in this event was self-serving, we were able to help out with some donations also. Thanks to all who donated - and if you are interested, please see the links at the bottom of this posting.

Maddy, our awesome babysitter, has been growing her hair long for the past 3 years and had it cut for a "locks for love" donation. It was a good thing, but because it was a bar and not a real hair salon, the 2-minute cut was not what a 16 year old girl was anxious to have left on her head. Luckily, Judy and Maddy get their hair done just a block away from the pub and Maddy whisked off to get finished up. Her short hair looks great, and I've heard an even better, shorter, edgier cut is coming soon.

As we were leaving, the real Friday night partiers were filling the bar, so our table was being coveted by a group croweded in the corner. We told them they could only have the table if they would donate to the cause. I know they said "Sure" just to get the table, but Judy wasn't leaving yet since Maddy was still at the salon. So, she played police on this one and made sure they all filled out donation forms. Thanks Judy!!!


Kevin's page is:
http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/shavee_info.html?ParticipantKey=2008-44655

My page is:
http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/shavee_info.html?ParticipantKey=2008-44613

Is today the day?

When you are at the very end of a pregnancy - (unless you schedule endusement or a c-section) you walk around like an invisible alarm clock about to go off. You can hear the ticking in your head, but you can't see the hands of the clock and don't know when it is going to ring.

Every pain you feel makes you think 'is that a labor pain? is it starting?' Each errand you do creates a small panic 'please don't let my water break in the store!' You know the enevitable is coming any day, any minute, but when???? As anxious as you are, on some level, you are also scared to hear the buzzer.

Well, waiting for your hair to fall out is a very similar experience (minus the giddyness). You know it is coming out, but when. My sister says it is a very surreal experience - one day, you are in the shower and clumps of hair come off into your hands. No more shampoo needed - just a garbage can.

After the first chemo treatment, my hair was given 2-3 weeks to live. So soon? Tomorrow will be 3 weeks, and, until now, it was feeling strong. I have even had fleeting thoughts about maybe I'd be in that miniscule % of the population that doesn't lose their hair.

Caitlyn frequently asks, with a glimmer in her eye and a big, expectant smile on her face, "Mommy, is today the day you are going to be bald?" I would give a gentle tug, and answer "Nope, not today, but soon". She was always disappointed with that answer. Not me.

However, my hair has been feeling a good bit dryer over the past couple of days. An early warning sign - the baby has dropped. But this morning, when I ran a brush thru my hair, there sure was a lot of loose hairs in the brush. So I ran my hand thru, again a lot of hair - Oh No! Please let it be Braxton Hicks contractions!

Despite the fact that I need to shower and get dressed for the day, I'm afraid!

I have to remember that just as a pregnant woman is prepared with car seats and cribs, I have hats and bandanas. I'm prepared... just not ready.

Murphy has moved in...

Everyone's heard of Murphy's Law. It can apply to anything. Well, Murphy has made a special stop at the Farmer household.

Kinsey's had a few ear infections thru the years. Both kids have the common snotty nose colds here and there. Caitlyn has done her share with a broken arm and stitches to the head - but who counts that? My kids have been basically bullet-proof during their short lives... until now.

Part of the joy of chemotherapy is that it crushes your white blood cell count - and those are handy for fighting off infections. My first dose of chemotherapy was Feb. 20th. - about 2 weeks ago.

Within the last 3 weeks, I have spent more time at the pediatricians office and following my kids around with Lysol than I care to think about. Kinsey had strep throat. Caitlyn had a staph infection in her nose and finger (just imagine how those are linked in a 5 year old). Now Caitlyn and Kevin both have the flu.

Vera (who helps keep my house clean and therefore helps keep me sane) and I spent all morning wiping down every surface in the house with a germ killer - I've done more laundry and sheets than I care to discuss - and I still cringe when I see Caitlyn or Kevin breathe, touch or cough on anything.

So, to all the wonderful people who have offered assistance - does anyone want to move into the 'Typhoid Mary' house to take care of us for a week or so until the storm passes? No, I didn't think so - nor do I blame you - and I wouldn't let you anyway.

It is very hard to be the Mommy-Care-Giver when you are afraid to touch your family. This really sucks. When Caitlyn is feeling bad and crawls into Mommy's lap for comfort - am I supposed to kick her out?

I guess I'll just keep avoiding my family (although the way I'm feeling, I think it is too late) - stressing the hand washing - pouring antibacterial lotion on everyone's hands every 15 seconds - and following them around with the lysol. And when that doesn't work, I guess my first burst of weight loss may just have to come from the flu. So be it - it still counts.